When you get married, you never imagine you will struggle.
Getting married is the dream of most little girls.
To be the princess swept off her feet by a wonderful dashing prince and live forever-after is sort of the way we view marriage.
Then we get married.
And wake up from the dream and find real life happening as we struggle with problems just like when we were single.
Sadly, too many marriages these days end up in divorce and some after 20 or 30 years.
I find it really encouraging to hear that someone has been married a long long time. There is often something special the couple has going between each other.
We can learn from their example because in most cases, they struggled in their marriage too.
Have you ever seen an elderly couple who are watching out for each other’s needs? If they have been married for decades, they know each other through and through.
That is the way it is for my parents.
Last summer they celebrated their SEVENTY-FOURTH wedding anniversary!! The summer of 2018 will be their SEVENTY-FIFTH anniversary! WOW!!
Can you believe that?!
I shared the story of my parents, Anthony and Evelyn Bollback, recently in a post titled, Married 74 Years and How You Can Learn from Their Example.
To be authentic and transparent with you, our marriage was a huge struggle for years.
I felt alone. It seemed like I was the only one who had struggled in marriage.
We live in a society where people are quicker to encourage you to get divorced and leave your husband than to stay with him for life.
For me, that wasn’t easy because my husband had some serious changing to do.
Yes, you read that!
BUT . . .
What you didn’t read is between the lines.
“I” desperately NEEDED to change and probably needed to be the first one to do the changing.
All I needed was some encouragement from another woman who would give me suggestions on how to change my behavior (reactions) to my husband.
I would love to say that our marriage immediately started to improve.
But it didn’t.
It took time because the struggle was real. It took us years to get to the spot where we were!
It took the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus working in our lives.
“In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;“(Ephesians 1:7)
It took forgiveness on both our parts.
It took time until we would grow deeper in our love for each other in a way we had never loved before.
I clung to these verses below during the years when I was struggling most. I hope they encourage your heart if you are struggling.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 1 Peter 3:1-6
You are not alone.
Jesus cares more than anyone you know.
Cling to Him when the struggle is real in your marriage.
Take the time to read the story about my parents and be challenged to stick with your husband through the years.
What spoke to your heart the most and encouraged you today as you read this post? Share with me in the comments because I would love to hear from you!
*This was taken from one of my weekly newsletters that was written in 2017. Have you subscribed?)