Finding Grace in the Mom-Mess

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When you are caught in an impossible mom-life mess, you can find grace that transforms you into the treasured woman who is enough because of Jesus!

It is a rare family that’s perfect. In fact, I haven’t met one yet although I met a few families that came close. I thought for sure that when I had kids, I could do a better job than my parents. I was about 21 then, and nowhere near ready to start a family. In fact, I didn’t even have a boyfriend!

My parents were the best parents (and married for 75 years!) yet because I grew up as part of my family, I knew they weren’t perfect.


Finding Grace in the Mom-Mess


You see, even the best parents fall short. If there was such a thing as a perfect parent, we would think it was our superb parenting skills that turned out our brilliant kids who love the Lord with all their hearts. Thing is that even a perfect parent is sinful and desperately in need of Christ. It is only by the grace of God that ANY of our kids grow up to love and serve God.

“Everyone’s always trying to leave Jesus out, which is one reason we’re in the mess we’re in!” ~War Room~


Finding Grace in the Mom-Mess


The Bible is LOUD on sinful families and QUIET on harmonious families.

For one thing, most families aren’t harmonious. Humans are not harmonious!

We are alienated.

Alienated from God and each other.

We are alienated, selfish sinners altogether in a home, sharing our possessions and the most intimate aspects of life. Each person in a family has a different personality and interest. There can be power struggles between parents and children in the best of families.

It’s a recipe for a sin-mess disaster!

One Mom-Mess in the Bible

If you remember Leah, she found herself living the mom-life in a total mess. It’s a complicated story in Genesis 29 between her sister, Rachel, and Jacob, the husband they shared.

I don’t know about you, but that’s cause for a real mess!

Leah and Rachel were in a race to conceive children from their husband. Leah had 4 boys and then a daughter, Dinah. There was so much envy, strife, and violence. If there was ever a mom who was part of a dysfunctional family, it was Leah!

Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. Genesis 34:1

Dinah gets raped by Shekem and her brothers slaughtered all the men. (Genesis 34)

The Bible doesn’t say what Leah’s response was to all that happened to her family. I can’t imagine that her reaction would have been much different than yours or mine.

She probably reflected back through the years about every thought. word, and action she had towards her sister Rachel. She probably had regrets over things she might have said or done in her family situation. The Bible doesn’t say.

One reason that the Bible often doesn’t give all the details of a situation is so you can identify with the individual.

Leah was sensitive to God. You can see it as she seeks God in the conception and birth of each of her children.

She was much like you and me!

Are You in a Mom-Mess?

Are your littles a mess and unruly even though you are doing your best to raise them? If you have teens, are they obnoxious with their words towards you and their siblings?

Meanwhile, your hormones might be totally out-of-whack and all you want is a little quiet. But there is chaos and noise constantly.

For some reason, a mom has a tremendous amount of responsibility for the home and raising the children in this generation. I’m not even going there today.

I know for me, I was in a huge mess in the middle of a fairly organized and smooth-running home. I didn’t say things were perfect. Far from it.

There is something about being a mom that exposes the selfishness, pride, and arrogance of your heart.

There is nothing easy about being a mother even though Pinterest and Facebook make it look that way.

In the process of raising kids, marriages struggle as differences of opinions and methods of child-rearing butt their ugly heads together.

Little issues can become huge.

Sinfulness is exposed in both parents and kids.

If you are finding yourself in a mom-mess, take responsibility for your own sin-mess, and allow God to transform you into the woman He created you to be.

You Are NOT Enough!

The popular thing to say is that ‘You are enough!’ but that is not the case!

I am only enough when I allow Jesus to live in and through me.

BUT when my day begins, I often feel like I am not enough. I get caught in the lies that Satan wants me to believe about myself.

Do you have thoughts like these going through your head?

  • Inadequate to your calling as a mom!
  • You’re NOT enough!
  • You have no worth!
  • You can’t do anything right!
  • Feelings that you should never have become a mom!

Remember when your child was a baby? You were so proud of her! You dressed her up so cute and you always talked about her when she wasn’t with you!

Life got complicated once she turned two and you desperately needed solutions and answers!

What God Thinks About You!

God cannot bear to look at sin because He is a holy God.

It is the most amazing thing to me that God thinks good thoughts about me.

When you have a personal relationship with God, it changes your outcome. The penalty of sin and death has been removed and you are washed in the blood of Jesus.

God says that you are a treasure. He highly values you.

  • Genesis 2:7 – He breathed the breath of life into you. In the New Testament, He breathes the Holy Spirit on you!
  • Genesis 1:27 – He created you in His own image. Can you imagine that? Any negative self-talk about how you’re not enough is just not acceptable.
  • Psalm 139:13 – He knit you together in your mother’s womb.
  • Mathew 10:30 – He knows how many hairs you have on your head (and how many you lost after each baby)(Psalm 139:4)
  • Psalm 139:14 – You are fearfully and wonderfully made! God created you to be enough!
  • Matthew 10:31 – You are more valuable than many sparrows!
  • Psalm 8:6-8 and Genesis 1:26,28) – He gave you dominion over the beasts, birds, and fish. What that means is that God created you to have responsibilities.

You are Special Even in Your Mess!

Messed up families and messed up moms are what this world is made of.

It is an opportunity for us to give over our whole being to God to fix our messes.

God loves when we cry out to him to fix us.

God uses our greatest messes to be our greatest message for Him.

When you have messed up on your mom-life, your life can be transformed when you are intentional in praying to the Lord to take your mess.

I’m not perfect. I make mistakes. I mess up. But God’s grace is bigger than my sins!


Finding Grace in the Mom-Mess


Have you been struggling with homeschooling your kids during the pandemic crisis?

Do not lose faith in God when you’ve made a mom-mess.

When your prayer life is a mess . . . remember that prayer is the bridge from your mess to God’s rest.

You’re not perfect. You make messes but God is in the transformation business and ca fix your mess.

Do you feel responsible for the mess you have made with your kids? I know how much this can hurt your relationship with the Lord until you KNOW you are ENOUGH even in your mom-mess.

How can I pray for you?


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