How to Choose Gratitude When Your Marriage Hurts

When your marriage hurts, gratitude is often the last thing on your mind. The weight of emotional pain leaves you drained, and your thoughts become consumed by the struggles that feel too heavy to carry.

When God brought you and your husband together you were in love and somewhere along your journey, life happened, and maybe you are NOT feeling in love anymore.

When I was in the first years of our marriage, and, honestly thought I was the only woman in the world who sometimes experienced marital bliss ;-).

I felt so alone!

Sometimes marriage hurts!

I wanted an older woman who could set me straight or encourage me.

It wasn’t that my marriage was always messy, but for those times that it was, it never occurred to me to choose gratitude.

So, for those once-a-month days when your heart hurts, or those seasons when your marriage is totally on the rocks, I want to share why you need gratitude.

Christian marriages are struggling and too often end in divorce. It hurts you but is devastating to your children.

With all my heart I want to encourage and equip you to keep your marriage healthy and flourishing.

Don’t ever take your marriage for granted! Always do things to nurture your relationship with your husband!

An Unthankful Heart When Your Marriage Hurts

When your marriage hurts and is strained, isn’t it hard to be thankful?!

Have you ever found it hard to hug your husband when he gets home from work?

Ever found it hard to be thankful for how hard he works and that he has a job?

 I have come to believe that a failure to give thanks is at the heart of much, if not most, of the sense of gloom, despair, and despondency that is so pervasive even among believers today. ~Nancy DeMoss Wolgemoth

What if your marriage could be turned around because you choose to have a thankful heart?

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Just what if?

I know that when my marriage was struggling, the last thing I felt was thankful! At that moment my heart was focused on all the wrongs that had been done to me.

I was immersed in a puddle of self-pity!

The Gratitude Journaling Workbook

is a journaling workbook that will encourage you to draw closer to Jesus.

Choose Gratitude When Your Marriage Hurts

Whoever offers praise glorifies Me; And to him who orders his conduct aright. I will show the salvation of God.” Psalm 50:23

You may be feeling so low that you can’t imagine how on earth you are going to choose gratitude!

The gloom that can settle around your heart can be so heavy.

Your situation might feel impossible at the moment.

BUT . . .

Yes! You can do this!

I like how Psalm 50:23 says we are to give a sacrifice of praise and especially to the blameless.

Those who sacrifice thank offerings honor me, and to the blameless I will show my salvation.” Psalm 50:23

Having a heart of gratitude isn’t always easy, especially when your marriage hurts.

What a challenge to be blameless when things aren’t going well and marriage hurts.

There are some things that I did that, in time, turned my marriage around.

You might not feel like doing these things, and they will probably not change anything. Maybe not for a long time. Both you and your husband might be in ruts in how you respond to each other.

Be the One to Change Your Response

BE BLAMELESS!

Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men,  for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. 1 Timothy 2:1-2

When your marriage hurts, Pray this verse over your husband!!

Choose Gratitude When Marriage Hurts

Yes! Especially when your marriage hurts!

When marriage hurts, choosing gratitude may feel impossible, but it’s a powerful step toward healing and resilience.

Gratitude doesn’t dismiss pain or pretend everything is fine—it shifts our focus to what is good, however small, even amidst struggles.

By thanking God for the spouse He has given you, the lessons learned through trials, or the strength to endure another day, you invite His presence into your heart and relationship.

Gratitude softens bitterness, opens the door for hope, and reminds us that even in brokenness, God is at work, refining us and teaching us to love as He loves

1. Take unthankful thoughts captive! (2 Corinthians 10:5)
2. Be a Warrior-Woman and pray Psalm 50:23 over your husband, giving a thank-offering for every possible thing about him!
3. Speak grateful thoughts into your mind!
4. Choose to be grateful for your home!
5. Think and say 3 things you are thankful for each morning!

Do you think that a messy marriage cannot be cleaned up?

Clean up the messes in your marriage by cleaning up unthankfulness and replacing it with praise given to God and your husband. You will be surprised at the miracle that can happen in a man who is despondent toward you!

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

You would not believe how wonderful it is to see God turn around an impossible situation into one that glorifies His name.

I know that not every marriage can be salvaged (because it takes two), but if you are hurting, turn your marriage upside down by choosing an attitude of gratitude and completely transforming your relationship!

Has your marriage been hurting? If you choose gratitude, please share your commitment in the comments, and I will pray for you to have God’s empowering strength.