If your marriage hurts, don’t give up without trying these 4 strategies. We live in a culture where marriages are falling apart all around us and it is easy to give up.
You might be at the point where your husband no longer seems attractive to you. Whatever hurts have happened, it is worth your effort to strengthen your marriage to grow into what God intended it to be.
Wedding-Dreams of Little Girls
Little girls grow up with dreams of getting married and some get married fairly young while others wait until their mid-twenties or even thirties.
They dream of their wedding day with a beautiful gown and everything perfect. It’s not that the wedding has to be thousands of dollars, even a simple wedding and meal can measure up to their dreams.
Those dreams reach into how they interact with their husband after they are married. Women want a relationship where they can share deeply with each other. Occasional flowers are nice too.
A Shattered Dream Hurts!
Too often, the realities of our human nature hit soon after the wedding vows are exchanged and hurtful things start to happen in the marriage.
What does a girl do when marriage hurts?!
If you listen to the heartbeat of other women and girls who married young, you will realize that marriages aren’t always made in heaven as we might imagine.
You might know what I mean because you feel like I am talking to you!
I was talking with someone on the phone recently, and she shared that two girls she knew who had been married about a year, were now separated. Heartbreaking.
My husband and I had many years where life between us was very rough. I wish I could share with you how we always got along but that wouldn’t be authentic or real.
I will spare you the details, but we could have given up on each other.
But this isn’t about my troubles in life but what I have learned through those darker times.
Maybe you are about ready to throw in the towel and either separate or divorce.
It has happened to people after being married a year and even after 30 years.
Unless you have seriously dangerous issues happening in your marriage and home (in which case you need the counsel of a pastor) I hope you try some of the things that worked for us.
When Marriage Hurts
We have been married for 39 years and not all those years were the happiest on the planet, though even from the beginning we share many happy memories.
I want to encourage anyone reading this who is hurting in her marriage.
Marriage isn’t perfect, because you aren’t perfect.
In most cases, you can find something in yourself to work on even when you don’t own the initial problem.
My Attitude is, Lord Change Me First!!
- Look for 5 things that are good about your husband. To be painfully honest, there was a time when I could no longer see the good in my husband. I was so concentrating on the negative that I couldn’t see the positive! You CAN do this too!
- Do something special each day to show your husband you love him. I did this when we were going through some very very deep waters. It seemed like nothing could possibly turn my husband’s heart towards me. It didn’t happen at first. It didn’t happen for a long time. Keep trying!!
- Take responsibility don’t blame-shift. It is easy to think that you never blame-shift but take another close look. It is human nature and easy to do. It is such a sneaky habit. Blame-shifting never solves anything!
- Seek the Lord when your marriage troubles are the worst. I would sit on the sofa late into the night when my heart was in turmoil over the issues that had transpired. Oh, how easy it is to become bitter! Work through each issue as it comes, with your Bible on your lap.
There are no words or ‘tips’ and ‘suggestions’ that will really bring hope when marriage hurts, other than pouring your heart out to the Lord.
Just know that I am praying for each lady who reads my blog; that the Lord will bless your marriage and home.
Never give up and trust the Lord to help you through each day.
If you are hurting in your marriage, let me know and I will pray for you. All you have to do is type your name in the comments.