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Do you need to fix the struggle in your marriage but you have no idea where to begin?
Did you dream of being a princess swept away by a dashing prince? Then you got married!
The day you got married, you were so in love that you never imagine the possibility of struggle.
Getting married is a dream for most little girls.
To be the princess swept off her feet by a wonderful dashing prince and live forever is how most of us viewed marriage.
Then we get married and wake up from our dream. We find real life happening as we struggle with problems just like when we were single.
Sadly, too many marriages end up in divorce, and some after 20 or 30 years!
I find it really encouraging to hear that someone has been married for ten, twenty, thirty, or more years.
Is there something special the couple has going for each other?
Most often they struggled too!
We can learn from their example because in most cases, they had many difficult times in their marriage too.
Have you ever seen an elderly couple who are watching out for each other’s needs? If they have been married for decades, they know each other through and through.
That is the way it was for my parents.
They celebrated their SEVENTY-FIFTH wedding anniversary in 2018 before they went to heaven!! WOW!!
Can you believe that?!
I shared the story of my parents, Anthony and Evelyn Bollback, in a post titled, Married for 75 Years and Still in Love.
To be authentic and transparent with you, our marriage has often been a huge struggle.
I felt alone. It seemed like I was the only one who had anything difficult happen in my marriage relationship.
We live in a society where people are quick to encourage you to get divorced and leave your husband rather than work out your differences.
For me, that wasn’t easy because my husband had some serious changes to do.
Yes, you read that!
BUT . . .
What you didn’t read is between the lines.
1. Lord, Fix my Marriage Struggle!
Fix ME first!
“I” desperately NEEDED to change and probably needed to be the first one to Change.
All I needed was some encouragement from another woman who would give me suggestions on how to change my behavior (reactions) to my husband.
I would love to say that our marriage immediately started to improve.
But it didn’t.
It took time because the struggle was real.
It took us years to get to the spot where we are now!
2. Cleanse and Wash Me from My Struggle!
Without the cleansing power of Jesus working in your marriage, all the marriage counselors in the world might not fix your married life!
Our marriage NEEDS the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus working in our lives.
“In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;”(Ephesians 1:7)
3. Ask for Forgiveness and Start to Change!
Be the first one to ask forgiveness both from God and to your husband. That will start the cleansing process working in your life until your heart and mind is renewed. It might take time as you replace bad habits of behavior towards your husband.
Your husband might not change right away but after he starts to see a consistent change in your actions toward him.
What if he never changes? Do you stop allowing God to transform your life into His image as a wife? Absolutely not!
It took forgiveness on both our parts.
It took time until we would grow deeper in our love for each other in a way we had never loved before.
I clung to these verses below during the years when I was struggling most. I hope they encourage your heart if you are struggling.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 1 Peter 3:1-6
You are not alone.
4. Cling to Jesus When the Struggle is Real!
Jesus cares more about your marriage than any of your friends.
Cling to Him when the struggle is real in your marriage.
Take the time to read the story about my parents and be challenged to stick with your husband through the years.
What spoke to your heart the most and encouraged you today as you read this post? Share with me in the comments because I would love to hear from you!